Top 7 Fears about Giving Birth

Dear Mama!

You are not alone in fearing birth. 

It is natural and normal to fear the unknown!

And birth is unknown, whether you are having your 1st or your 5th. 

So, please let that sink in. It is not about Not having Fear. It's about not letting the fear overpower you and negatively affect you.

Let me help!

I have written this blog post about the 7 top fears in hope that examining them togther will help release some of the power they might hold over you.

Knowledge is power!

Ok, here we go...

1. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the pain

Most women will experience the birth sensations of their womb contracting and dilating. Everyones perception of pain is different. Some women don't experience the contractions as painful but as pressure/tension and some women do experience the contractions as painful.

The sensations and/or pain of contractions only last around a minute. The pain is purposeful and you can do ANYTHING for a minute. After the contraction all pain goes away, like magic. That's the beautiful design of a woman's body and birth. If you remember that when you are in labour then you can more easily  "work with the pain" than against it.

I know by experience as a midwife that the one thing that causes the most pain is fear.

Fear of pain.

Fear of loss of control.

Fear creates tension and tension increases pain. 

One of the most important things you need to cultivate is your ability to relax and trust the birth process.

How do you do that?

You meditate, practice relaxation, go to prenatal yoga etc. AND you understand the process of labour and birth, the work of the womb and the perfect design of your body.

Knowledge is Empowerment!

2. I fear I will poop during birth

This is such a common fear amongst women, especially first time mamas, and I understand that. We are so conditioned that any bodily fluids are disgusting and it would be humiliating to vomit, urinate or defecate in public. 

But I have to be honest with you and tell you that most women will poop during birth. It's most likely only a tiny bit, not like when you usually empty your bowel.

And we as midwives are so used to it. It's second nature for us.

And it's logical isn't it?

You need to make space for baby, and if there is anything in there it has to come out!

It can actually make women hold their baby in and prolong their labour because they are afraid of pooping.

Don't be one of those women. 

Usually when you feel like you need to poop in labour it means your baby is about to be born. It will feel like the biggest poop of your life.

Don't hold back!

If this is a huge fear of yours then I recommend that you eat lightly during labour. Snack on fruits & berries, drink smoothies and lots of hydrating and energizing drinks that fuels you along without being heavy for the body to process and then get rid of.

3. I'm terrified about tearing

Around 50% of all women will not have a tear.

And about 40-45% of women will have a small tear.

This is a tear of just the skin which is called 1st degree and a tear of the skin and some of the first layer of muscle beneath called 2nd degree.

These are the most common tears. The 1st degree doesn't have to be stitched most of the time, depending on the care provider.

Bigger tears are rare. 

The clever thing of the body is that when the tissue gets stretched you actually loose some of the sensation, so if you do have a tear you most likely wont know it until you're told you do. So don't fear the pain. You most likely wont feel it.

How can you avoid tearing?

Well the best thing you can do is have healthy tissues.

And how do you get that?

Good nutrition and lots of hydration (water).

Another thing you can do is, again, practicing relaxation and perineal massage.

Doing both at the same time trains your mind to relax when you experience stretching and burning sensations in your perineum, and it teaches your tissues to stretch!

4. I'm scared of a long, excruciating labour

I understand that this scares you.

How you will labour and birth is unknown, whether it is your 1st or 5th time.

But what you Can do is prepare and optimize your chances of having the smoothest labour and birth you can have.

And How do we Do that?

Preparation and Education is key. 

When you understand the stages of labour and how to work with and optimize each stage you have a great advantage over most women. Because most women don't invest the time and money into preparing for their birth. You're here reading this, so you're one step closer to optimizing your chances of a smooth labour and birth.

Understanding the stages makes them more manageable. Knowing tools and techniques for each stage will help you move through them with greater confidence and ease. 

Practice relaxation in pregnancy!

I can't emphasize this enough. This will be one of your greatest tools in labour and birth and helps your body do its thing. 

And remember, fear can prolong labour and make it more painful...

...practice mindfulness!

5. Medical intervention scares me

This is a big one. And usually a fear I hear from my mamas wanting a natural birth. 

You can influence your chances of being offered medical intervention by choosing your care provider wisely. Look at their statistics or the hospital/birth centers statistics. What are their rate of intervention, and how do you feel about that?

Ask your care provider about their rate and how they view intervention. Are they pro natural birth? When would they intervene and why? And then evaluate if this is ok for you or maybe you need to shop around! 

You can always change your care provider! 

It is never too late.

Your body, your baby, your choices!

If you end up being offered medical intervention in labour and birth use B.R.A.I.N

It stands for:

B- Benefits (Ask what they are)

R- Risks (Ask what they are)

A- Alternatives (What are they?)

I- Intuition (What is your intuition/body wisdom telling you?

N- Nothing/Wait (Ask what happens if we do nothing/wait?)

Using B.R.A.I.N can help you avoid unwanted interventions or accept offers of interventions by being informed of the reasons why it is being offered. 

We are fortunate to have the luxury of medical intervention, and interventions can save lives. If you have made an informed decision, you have done everything in your power. If you need intervention during your labour and birth remember that and see it as a blessing.

6. What if something is wrong with the baby at birth?

Most babies are fine at birth.

They come out pink and curiously looking around.

Some cry, some don't, especially at water births. Water babies tend to be very relaxed and don't usually cry.

Good antenatal care and birthing with skilled birth professionals is key here.

Good antenatal care minimizes the risk of things being missed with your baby in the womb and having skilled birth professionals at your birth ensures your baby can get the best and fastest help if it does need some help.

Around 10% of babies needs some help to breathe at birth. 

Most of them only need some oxygen to help open up their lungs. This is normal and usually all a baby needs.

The baby can be still attached to the cord and placenta and get some help breathing next to you or on you.

Talk to your care provider about your options and how you can manage them if they happen.

Remember, 90% of babies will be fine at birth!

7. What if I can't birth my baby?

Your body was designed to birth your baby!

Very few women on this planet can't physically birth their baby due to their bodies being affected by famine or injury.

You will know if you are one of these women.

If not, You Are Perfect and Your Body Is Perfect!

A reason why you might not be able to vaginally birth your baby is if your baby can not handle the stress of labour and birth (rare) or your baby doesn't want to lie in a position possible for birth (in which case your care provider can encourage baby to turn. This doesn't always work, however, as the little beings inside have a mind of their own).

But for Most Mamas & Most Babies, Vaginal Birth is Possible! 

What can stand in your way and prevent labour and birth from progressing is Fear!

Fear creates tension. Tension creates pain. Pain and tension works against your body.

Work on your fears antenatally. Reach out to Anna if you want some one on one time to face your fears and work through them. Equip yourself with knowledge about the labour and birth process, inform yourself about your choices and practice relaxation!

You can do this mama!

Remember that 1000 of women are labouring and birthing around the world as we speak!

Birth is Natural!

You were designed to Birth Your baby!

xx

Anna  

P.S If you want to Empower Yourself and start Preparing for Your Labour and Birth and want Expert Advice.

Then The Natural Birth Course is for You!